Russian Vodka Primer - Part 1: Know Your Poison

By Alexander Wildeve

It’s no surprise that one of the stiffest drinks ever invented comes from one of the world’s coldest countries. A shot of syrupy smooth vodka is sure to thaw the blood and put fire in the soul after finding refuge from the -23C bone chiller of a Russian winter. Typically 80 proof (40% alcohol by volume), Russian vodka , a simple and effective blend composed entirely of water and ethanol, is now king behind every bar from Moscow to San Francisco and a staple in every recreational and professional drinker’s arsenal.

According to ‘The History of Vodka’ by food and drink expert William Pokhlebkin, the first vodka recipe was conceived in an experiment concocted in 1430 by a monk inside the walls of the Kremlin. For those who like their hard drinking laced with even more history, visitors to Moscow can take a guided tour round the Kristall Vodka Factory or truly discover the spirit at Moscow Vodka Museum.

Although vodka, the diminutive Russian term for water, has turned the population senseless for centuries, many younger Russians nowadays are wary of vodka and sensible folk treat it with the utmost respect; and those who don’t typically suffer the terrible consequences of illegal vodka.

But the drink originally known as ‘bread wine’ is steeped in tradition, and quality vodka combined with sensible drinking practices is a great way to enjoy Russian culture to its fullest.

Most Russians who sit down to a long vodka session follow social etiquette, whether it’s a wedding, a birthday celebration, or just a chance to party. The best vodka should be carefully chosen and served slightly chilled or even freezing (about -4). One way to check the quality is to look for ice particles when the bottle’s out of the freezer (the less particles, the better the vodka).

Although some say good vodka should be savored, the best way is to take a half-glass hit straight up. According to the theory, quickly downing a shot slows alcohol from entering the bloodstream as the esophagus doesn’t soak up as much. But the real key to not feeling sick as a dog is having a bite to eat (Zakuski) with each and every shot. The list of effective vodka snacks includes black bread with salt, sausage, smoked fish, pickles, cheese, and even lard.

Traditional Zakuski

The most popular question of those who arrive on a trip to Russia is “what are the best vodkas?” First things first, legit vodka should have a Rostest quality mark and the ‘Lux’ statement of purity printed on the bottle. The most smooth and tasteless vodkas derive from rye and wheat grain and are triple distilled to remove the nastiness of fusel alcohol.

Below, we review a preliminary selection of vodkas to get the party going, put hairs on your chest, and help you steer clear of blowing chunks. Once you’re plied, stay tuned for Part 2 in which we’ll explore the finer social points of vodka culture…

Russian Vodka Primer
Part 1

• Beluga (Russian Белуга)
  The Russian equivalent to France’s up market Grey Goose, Belugais exemplary vodka produced from malt and Siberian artesian water from near Novosibirsk, Siberia. It practically sings to you in Soprano as it slides down your throat and gives a great feeling of warmth in your stomach. Although a little on the expensive side, it’s fresh on sophistication and delicate in construction.
• Gzhelka (Гжелка)
  Distilled from wheat and purified spring water, Gzhelka is magnum opus in the art of vodka and considered by some as Russia’s finest. The jewel in the crown of the Kristall distillery, it’s a real classic with no aroma and a gentle water-slide into oblivion. It will thread your taste buds through the eye of a needle.
• Minskaya Kristall (Минск Кристалл)
  from Belarus, is considered a ‘flagship vodka – Super Lux’ and among the best vodkas produced in the world. Kristall is a perennial award winner from one of the oldest distilleries in Eastern Europe, in operation since 1893. Filtered multiple times using a unique and patented process, this vodka proffs full aroma and flavor, and is very soft with minimal burn.
• Putinka (Путинка)
  A good quality choice for those on a budget, Putinka Classic has a little bite but generally slips down without incident. If you’re having a party rather than a tasting session, your guests will appreciate this as a sound selection.
• Green Mark (Зелёная марка)
  If you want to stay faithful with the old-fashioned tradition of vodka drinking, Green Mark hits it with a warm and slinky lip-smacker. An authentic reconstruction of the purity of Soviet era vodka, it will have you fuzzily singing old folk songs with your new-found friends before the night is out.
• Russian Brilliant (Русский Бриллиант)
  A favorite among regular vodka drinkers, Russian Brilliant has a winning combination of quality and good price. Get the gherkins at the ready and give your mind a sparkling show-time after a hard day’s night.
• Pertsovka (Перцовка)
  Not one for the purists, Pertsovka is s type of vodka spiced with red, black and sometimes both kinds of pepper. This version takes the edge off the pure vodka taste, stimulates the appetite and is great as a winter warmer. But we recommend you make your own as flavored vodka is oft