Russian Vodka Primer - Part 2: Get in the Spirit

By Alexander Wildeve and Rollo TomasiDrinkers – Van Gogh

Two a.m. in a high rise flat near Moscow’s center, a lively if wobbly group of Russian partiers stand facing one another, vodka shot glasses held aloft in one hand with a bit of zakuski clenched in the other. Between them, two cats forage on a table laden with plates of smoked meat and fish, cheese, black bread, pickled cucumbers, olives, fruit…and numerous bottles of Russian vodka.


The toastmaster gives a funny and passionate speech about his best friend’s birthday, the most recent in a long series of sometimes sentimental, sometimes humorous toasts fuelled by an epic session of drinking vodka. Then in unison, the guests proclaim “Na Zdorovie!” and down their entire vodka ration in one throw. They afterwards slam down their shot glasses with low growls making the two felines run for their lives.

It’s clear from the jovial mood that this could easily continue well into daylight hours…
Drinking vodka in Russia is about more than the Western affliction of getting legless on cheap vodka and orange, or staying up all night with a Red Bull cocktail.

The world’s smoothest and most popular spirit, vodka in Russia is interwoven with a rich history and party spirit. This is why the majority of Russian manufacturers treat the production of their vodka with such care, attention and expertise. There’s an enormous range of vodkas in Russia to suit every wallet and pallet including Russkiy Standart, vodka Beluga, vodka Flagman, vodka Parlament, vodka Pshenichnaya, and vodka Russian Brilliant. In Russia, such manufacturers guarantee getting drunk is an art form.

To complement the enormous range of vodka in Russia, a great number of traditions have grown up around the drink and its consumption. Experience just a few drinking sessions with a Russian, and vodka will soon take on a whole new meaning. Some avid fans in Russia even say that vodka is the cure for flu, colds and other ailments. And each toast at a party is dedicated to something specific…women, war dead, hosts, newlyweds and their nuptial night, a successful pet sterilization or even the acquisition of a vintage AK-47. And when the list runs out, inventive humor takes over and a whole new set is ad-libbed.

Russian Bear Vodka advises us to drink responsibly…

You may also witness some vodka drinkers smelling pieces of black bread before a toast, a ritual that goes back to World War II (the Great Patriotic War) when soldiers, due to food shortages, would sniff a piece of bread and pass it on before downing their vodka.

Old timers will recall holding two fingers discretely at the sternum, code for drinking during Gorbechev’s ill fated ‘dry law’ prohibition ’85 – ’87. And if you see a friend tap his neck while looking at you, he’s either inviting you to imbibe or thinks you’re completely plastered on any of the vodkas below…
Russian Vodka Primer
Part 2 

Russkiy Standart Platinum (Silver filtered)
As the name states, Russian Standard Platinum is the popular premium choice and currently has the market by the balls. It’s simply excellent and has a finish almost as sublime as bedding a sultry Russian lady. Make sure you buy the Platinum label as the Original variety is simply par since the brand went global. If you’re not feeling adventurous, then it’s safe to stick with this icy dream.

Imperia
From the same stable that produces Russian Standard, Imperia is distilled an additional four times through crystal quartz to achieve perfection smoother than an Olympic toboggan run. This attention to detail produces a fine blend that impresses with the absence of flavor like any great vodka should. It’s a pricey choice but well worth it. After all, you’re in Russia…

Flagman
A fairly safe mid-range vodka, Flagman gives you permission to land with only a couple of bumps on touchdown. It’s readily available in all Russian supermarkets, so is the brand to grab whether for a last minute party invite or going home alone.

Parlament
Pleasant and consistent on the palate, Parlament will soon have you debating your opinions on everything from the World Cup winner to Descartes’ Passions of the Soul. Goes great with dried packaged mackerel for the metro ride home.

Russian Brilliant
A favorite among regular vodka drinkers, Russian Brilliant has a winning combination of quality and good price. Get the gherkins at the ready and give your mind a sparkling show-time after a hard day’s night.

Pshenichnaya
In a word, foul. One that’s highly likely to give you a hangover for days. Gets worse the more you drink it.

 Others that will do the job…
Russian Ice, Kaufman Soft, Legend Kremlya
Visit Moscow’s Vodka Museum: http://www.vodkamuseum.ru/english/home/

Warning!
We advise you to drink responsibly while in Russia.
Exercise moderation lest you risk slurring your chat-up lines.